I Love My Mummy

 

We thought it was only fitting that Nova should be a mummy for Halloween since she slept swaddled for the first 8mos of her life. Big news around here is the swaddle is no longer!! It is kind of amazing. It is so weird to see her grow up. I looked at her face mid-day yesterday and I promise you she looked like a little girl..and not a baby. (She also has cut TWO teeth this week!!)

We are mad men over here prepping for our trip to Australia and New Zealand next week. Editing, emailing, culling, organizing, trying to figure out what a 15hr plane ride with a babe will be like..ordering film, trying to sleep...Sorry if I am a little quiet on the blog right now. It only means I am busy working on lots of new stuff to show you!!

8 Months

My darling baby. You are 8 months old.

You drink through a straw.

You stand on your own two feet.

Your noises sound like words.

You reach out for me when you need me.

You crawl to my feet and pull on me when you need to be held.

You try to eat food..even though you prefer your honey milk more.

You are 8 months old and your dad and I are madly in love with you.

This month has been full of so many fun changes.

You make so many new sounds now. da da da and ma ma ma. Mostly  da da da though. It's hard for us not to imagine you are calling out to your dad..so we just pretend you are.

You and I still sing together. You love singing! You join in whenever hear a tune. When I sing you your morning song or any other song for that matter you lock eyes with me and match my tone. It absolutely makes me dizzy with delight.

After our duets I usually try to kiss you for about 5hrs but you just want to get down and move.

You move CONSTANTLY.

You are a pro crawler now but could kind of care less about it. All you want to do is stand.

The only purpose of crawling is to get you to where you can stand. The edge of the couch. chairs. foot stools. windows...anything you can paw and pull yourself to standing.

We can only imagine how exhausted you must be by the end of day from doing pull ups non-stop.

You stand and bounce from excitement.

Sometimes you get daring and go one handed or the ole' lean the shoulder against the couch trick. "No hands Mom!!"

Standing means falling.

You have bruised your eye lid, banged you head, cut your lip and recently gave yourself a black eye.

It's amazing to see how fast your body heals. And every time it does I think about how my body made that body and I feel like super mom. The novelty of my body creating another body has still not worn off.

We have started baby proofing the house. We know it won't stop the occasional bonk and bruise but hopefully it will lessen the blow.

Can you do me a little favor? Wait at least two more months before you start walking?

Your fingers can touch and poke and explore so much. I love watching you lay next to me in the mornings and just touch the edge of your blanket and look at the tiny piece of fabric in your hands with such wonder.

It must be amazing to experience all of your senses for the first time.

All of the things we take for granted you are transfixed by. The pattern on our cement floors. The light filtering through the blinds. The tiny bit of carpet fuzz stuck to the bottom of your feet. All of it is such a wonder. You help us look at things we have been ignoring or forgotten about. You help me see more clearly.

Waking up next to you is still one of my most favorite things of all time. You smile and snuggle and like to lay across my chest and stare at the big windows and chatter with the morning light. You pull on dad's hair and go back and forth between us so happy to have mom and dad all to yourself.

You like being touched as you fall asleep. If you are in the car you need one of us touching your cheek before you can drift off. I touch your cheek & help hold your binky in as you hold on to my arm in a death grip. You are a skin to skin baby.

You have started nuzzling your head down in the carpet and rolling around asking to be wrestled with. You love some tickling and kissing.

Big belly laughs whenever we blow on your belly or tickle your rib cage.

You love, love, love when we get on the floor and play with you. Daddy will play follow the leader with you as he crawls and you follow. You shriek and giggle.

You basically love all interactive play time.

You smile through pretty much everything. Rain or shine.

You love other babies. You are so stoked to play with Winston. You chase the boys around and pull at them. You also get so excited and do your really loud shriek/yell when you are around other kids and scare most of them.

You are still our baby-a-go-go. We just got back from Boston visiting your Aunt Jenelle and Uncle Conny and today we leave to shoot a wedding in New Orleans.

You are really good on planes but travelling with you is still one the of the most exhausting things. I am so glad we are two against one. How do other people do planes with multiple children?!

You have discovered splashing in the tub.

Favorite toys: remotes, iphones, big bowls and this tacky standing leap frog learning table.

I am totally stressed that you don't have more shoes (to me it is the difference between me being a good mom or a bad mom..foot coverings. Ridiculous. If only I lived in Hawaii..I wouldn't be bothered by dumb shoes).

The problem is your heels are narrow and your feet are long. Nothing fits. Argh.

I also stress about you choking. You are such a gagger even on pureed food. We just need to ease you slowing in to the world of swallowing more than milk. We try but you are on your own schedule. We will follow your cues.

Hopefully we will always be aware of you enough to follow your cues and give you what you need.

Where are your teeth?! Seems like you have been teething for 3 months already.

Dad joined the photo business!!!! We are kind of freaking out about it.

He is home more to share Nova time so I can try and scramble to get caught up with work. Having him with us is pretty much the best ever.

We bought you a wooden camera which we named the "Nutty Cam" in honor of the joint venture.

This last month my hard drive crashed on my iMac. I thought I had lost the journal I wrote for you while I was pregnant. Apple said, dead. Another recovery place said, dead. Sent the HD to Drive Savers and guess what? They retrieved ALL of it. Every last word of my madefromscratch word document. We had to pay a pretty penny....but we decided it was worth it.  I put myself in your shoes and decided it would have been worth it to me. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas for the rest of your life.

Your one year birthday seems to be creeping towards me...but I am trying to hide.

8 months of our lives being completely turned upside down. 8 months of holding my very own daughter in my arms. 8 months of being a mother. A full-on mom. A breastfeeding, clothes not quite fitting, hair being pulled out, sleep-deprived , madly in love, can't believe how amazing life is MOM.

Most days I feel completely unworthy and overwhelmed at the task of giving you every single opportunity you deserve. Most days I still feel like I am 18yrs old and am not quite sure how I ended up with a career a husband and daughter. Most days I wonder how I could ever split my attention with other future children? Most days I want my life to stay exactly how it is right now (minus the extra body weight).

Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for letting me be your mom.

 

 

 

Piggies

Yesterday we had to lower her crib.

She has gotten that big.

I often wonder if I am appreciating all of the little moments and little things that are happening right now.

Am I present enough?

The other day I pushed on her nose..and I wasn't sure if I had ever felt it before. I then proceeded to touch her chin and her ear lobes and all the parts I may not give enough attention too. I am usually good at seeing the small stuff (which is why i'm not half bad at my job)...but with her there is SO much small stuff that I tend to feel overwhelmed.

Take her piggies for instance. They are numero uno as far as the cute factor goes. I need to give them way more attention. I need to take deep breaths, step away from the devices and be more present with my baby and my husband. I need to make it a priority.

Weekend challenge: take 15mins everyday to just "be" with yourself, your spouse or your children. I think it would help us all feel a little bit better. A little bit more connected.

xo- Rachel

Gimme That Camera!

We are on our way to Boston today. Spending a few days with an Aunt and Uncle who haven't spent much time with nutz yet. We are all looking forward to it. Especially Nova. She loves 5hr flights.

This week has been busy and our to-do-list keeps getting increasingly longer but we are happy. Life is good.

Anyone have any last minute insider tips for Boston? The most important question I have is whether or not there is a fantastic lobster roll there? I need one in a bad bad way.

Happy weekend.

Giveback #2- High Res Files

(Sneak peak from Mike & Failop's Malibu wedding. You wish you were a guest. Trust me.)

 Thanks for all of the excitement and well wishes yesterday! I have to admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed..and it has only been one day!!! Good news; we are still in business. I am sure it will take a few months for us to find our perfect groove..until then I will ride the wave.

Now on to the goodies...

Giveback #2

Any photoshoot pre-2010 (weddings, engagements, families, newborns...) who don't already own all of their images, can purchase:

high resolution jpeg/files for only $350!!

This is unheard of. My current a la carte price for a disc of high-res images is $1200. This would give you all of your images to print and archive.

Send me an email at info@rachelthurston.com with your name, the month and year your shoot took place and I will get back to you with a link to pay. Offer good until 11:59pm Tuesday, Oct 11th.

I will never offer this again. So if you are thinking...hmmmm if I just want a few years I can purchase my images discounted...won't happen. We have mouths to feed.

Starting January 2012 my new contract will state that I will guarantee storage of your images for 1 year, or until you receive a copy of the high-res images (whichever comes first). Of course, I still have every image stored that I have ever shot. EVER. But storage is getting out of control and once you all have the images it makes sense that the responsibility be transferred to you. Make copies, back them up or better yet PRINT THEM. Having tangible prints will be the #1 best way to save those memories for posterity. Trust me.

Yay for day 2 of Giveback Appreciation Week! This is fun.

 

Big Changes- Giveback #1- $500 Wedding Credit

(All with our current favorite cameras. Nova's is a limited edition vintage variety called the "nutty cam". It's in very high demand.)

 

I have (not) so patiently waited to share this stupendous news with you...

After years of us talking about it, Grant has decided to partner with me and join our photography business. As of today he is officially part of the crew.

This is HUGE news. Our excitement and gratitude at us being able to do this is pretty much through the roof.

Any of you who own your own business know that, whether they like it or not, your family is involved. I do not have a 9-5. I bring my work home with me. My work is at my home. I am my work.

As of now the changes will mostly be internal and things will mostly appear as the always have. We aren't changing the business name. You can still find us at "Rachel Thurston Photography". I will still be the one shooting. I will still mainly be the one you hear from via email or the blog. No need to worry, this change will only affect our dear clients in the best of ways.

Those of you we've had the privilege of working with the last couple of years might have noticed our growing pains. With the increased, and delightful, demand for my shooting time my days have been shortened and my turnaround times slightly increased. Then I went and had myself a baby...now my days felt less like 24hrs and more like 2. Things needed to change. I needed help. The timing was right. Nova and I batted our eyelashes and made our goodbyes to Dad as he left for his "job" more and more pitiful. Like the sirens we are, he had no choice (actually it was ALL his choice...but for the sake of my story)..he said YES.

This is the most important part...We are only able to do this becuase of all of the people, clients, friends and family who have supported us, trusted us, my photography and helped it thrive. We feel like the most blessed family there ever was. It will be a lot of hard work. It IS a lot of hard work. But we are up for it. We are ready and we are thankful for the patience you have all shown as we have gone through these growing pains..and we want to show our gratitude.

Today through Friday will be:

Giveback Appreciation Week

We will be offering a different Giveback daily, announced here on the blog and on Twitter. They are based around what my clients are asking for, have asked for or if I was looking for a photographer what I would want.

They will only be available for a specific time range, so check in daily to see if any of the givebacks are something you would want to take advantage of.

Let's start things off with a bang:

Giveback #1

Any new weddings booked in the next week that are taking place between today and April 30th 2012 will receive:

$500 credit to be used towards ANY product.

Albums, album upgrades, prints, engagement inserts, prints to display at your party/reception, upgrading your disc of images, a huge custom canvas print of your mother-in-law's face. ANY product.

Wedding contract must be signed and in our inbox by midnight PST on Oct 10th (next Monday night).

Shoot us an email for more information and pricing... and send inquiring soon to be newlyweds our way (hint: referral giveback later this week).

 

This is going to be a great week. Feel free to give Grant a warm hello.

7 Months

I'm having a harder time being timely with your monthly photoshoots. I promise you were 6mos old last week.

I feel like the 6mos mark gets all the attention but honestly..7mos is a huge month for change..at least for you.

You crawl everywhere. On your knees now. Although it's easier to belly slide on concrete floors (your poor knee caps).

We thought it was amazing when we found you had pulled yourself up to your knees and then 2 days later you had learned to pull yourself up to to standing!! Say what?!

You will put your chubby fingers on any ledge and pull yourself up. Window ledges are your favorite.

You are so mobile now and so daring..that bumps and bruises are starting to appear. You had your 1st big fall standing next to a stool in the kitchen..when you both went over. Bruise on your head and a sad mom and babe.

I try not to over worry but it's hard to know what I should worry about. A bruise to your head...what if you had internal bleeding? Or a concussion and I had no idea? I guess being an attentive parent gives me an edge but still sometimes I have to throw my hands in the air and pray for the Gods to keep you alive.

You sit on your own when you want but you always prefer your stomach or the famous "Nova lounge" position. Laying on your side tugging at the leg of your pant. We should patent that.

You make the cutest clicking sounds with your tongue and mouth now.

You have also started pursing your lips and blowing when you are thinking hard about something. It absolutely kills me dead. I love seeing you find your own way to express your emotions.

You are very in to the mechanics of how things work. Hinges, latches, knobs..all very interesting

You bang your arm down to your side. Like bam bam.

Also when on your belly, you will take crawling breaks to tap the ground with your right foot.

You are still in the damn swaddle. But how can I damn it when you slumber so well wrapped up? You nap around 3.5-4hrs during the day and then sleep 11hrs every night. Damn that swaddle.

Naps are in your crib and nighttime is in between dad and I.

Co-sleeping is a dream 99% of the time. We never get out of bed all night. There is no question of what you need and when you need it. But there are certain nights when you don't feel well and I think dad coined it best when he said, "It's like a monkey was in our bed last night". Yes, yes it was.

You sleep with your legs spread wide like a little cowgirl and if you fall asleep while I am nursing you..your kicking legs end up clam and crossed.

You are now in the 50% for size. I have decided I don't care much for percentages. You will have plenty of time on your own as a teenager comparing you body to others. Why make you go through it now? As long as you are thriving, any size is great with us.

Almost all of your dark baby hair is gone and is now replaced with a strawberry blond color. It is very wispy and fuzzy.

I have also noticed you have a very flat head. You should maybe think about balancing stuff on it as a career. Serious. You would make loads of money.

Playing with mixing bowls is super fun right now.

Also, pushing around end tables is really fun too.

You are very social. You will go to anyone and aren't afraid to grope faces or stick fingers in mouths..or their fingers in yours.

The only thing you fear..is the blender.

If look at you or talk to you, you pretty much always smile.

You notice and see the smallest things now. Buttons, any new space. You take in the world 360degrees. I love when we go on walks you and crane your head back to look at the trees or the sky.

You see light. Some adults are even good at noticing the nuances in light...but you do. You notice the line of light on the wall or the ray peaking through the curtain. This makes your photographer Mom VERY proud.

Food is not your thing. Avocado has gotten the best response..but still not very interested. How can that be? How can you be my daughter and not like food?

You crawl to me now when you need me. Love. You start climbing up my legs until I pick you up.

You didn't feel well a couple days this month and you just wanted me to hold you all day long. Didn't matter what I was doing...it was better in my arms than not.

Nighttime you need Mom. Dad trys..but you just want me.

Dad does take you most mornings when you wake up at 6ish and I get to sleep another hour or so.

You and dad love playing "a-boo". You giggle and laugh and are so on to his tricks.

If dad is in the room while you are nursing you love to pop off every few seconds (not kidding) and just make sure he's still there. He has to remind you, "it's OK nutty I'm here just keep eating"..and then with a little " everything is the way I want it" face you burrow back down for a snack.

Sometimes during the day you eat for a few seconds and then you want to come up to full sitting position. Not kidding.. and then 2secs later back down again. Down and up, down and up. It's one of our wrestling eating sessions.

You are not naked enough. I really dislike this.

We are using the maya sling more and more. Easy and fast to put on and off. I think you are still more comfy in the moby..but in the sling I can wear you on my hip and you can see out easier.

I think it's time to get you a big girl stroller. We have only use the Snap n' Go since you were born.

You got your passport photo taken!!! How rad is it that you will have a baby passport?! You are the coolest.

Nicknames this month include the old standbys (nutty, nutz, do-do) and a few new ones have made the rotation, daddy's sweet pickle, nov's, novita, novi. And I have always called you "my precious"...I am just now realizing how creepy that may be.

We also say the the phrases "yes, I'm your mommy" or "I'm your dad" or "you're my sweet baby", "you're MY baby"...A LOT. I'm sure you are thinking..OK weirdos. Isn't this information we all already know?

My favorite times of the days are two: right when you wake up from a nap- I unwrap you and rub your belly while we take about your dreams. Then I pick you up and you rest on my shoulder. Then we walk into the bathroom and look at us cheek to cheek in the mirror. We both smile and fall a little bit more in love. Then we walk into the family room area and say hi to your house..all while your cheek is still pressed to mine.

My second favorite time of the day is bathtime. For what ever reason time stands still at bathtime. One of us is in the tub with you, while the other sits next to the tub..and as a family we enjoy 15mins of having nothing else to do. Water is just that way. It washes away stress and hurry. Makes us slow down.

I had someone tell me this month that I am one of the most attached parents he knows. Me thinking this was a HUGE compliment, thanked him. Turns out he wasn't trying to compliment me. I am finding more and more peoples attitudes about parenting has a lot to do with what's included or missing from their own lives. If they don't feel very attached or intimate with anyone else than it's hard for them to understand the type of relationship dad and I care so much about trying to create with you.

Here are some simple parenting philosophies I feel absolute about; 1, You can't love your child too much. Impossible. 2, Being around them as much as possible is what they want and need. 3, Building trust with my daughter now means a stronger bond through adulthood.

Everyday I am becoming a more confident mother...but the fear and the worry about not doing it "right" is still there. I do think attachment can run the wrong direction but only when the parent wants to keep the child from progressing. I live for your development and independence. So far so good.

Also, just so everyone knows, we don't like to wait until you are begging to give you what you need. If we see the signs of hunger or that you're tired we won't wait until you are screaming until we give it to you. What's the point? You don't have a lot of reasons to cry, so you don't

But sometimes you need to cry for a release but it is never because you are hungry or we are keeping you up. Before you fall asleep you like to have a good cry. I've learned this is just what you usually do before you can settle down.

We are both anxious for the big family/work change happening this weekend. We sit at home and count the seconds. Life is about to change in a really amazing way..and we are doing it mainly for you. Pretty much any worthwhile desicion now has to do with you.

Novs, can you do me favor and just be my little baby forever? Forever and forever x's a million? That would really be great.

Also, how would you feel about a sibling? NO we are not pregnant....but wouldn't a little boy for Nutty to boss around be the best? I also secretly day dream about a house full of little girls all hanging around Grant's neck smothering their papa with kisses? (Of course I see this daydream in the form of a photograph). I mean a house full of little women all calling me marme would be the bee's knees. My baby is 7mos old WHY am I thinking about a house full of kids!!!!!?? I am exhausted to the max thinking about it...but at the same time have butterflies in my stomach like it's Christmas morning.

Being a mom is the #1 best ever. For those of you getting close to having your 1st child, I'm sure you are being smothered with all of the "never sleep again" "go on as many dates as you can now"  horror stories...and they're all true (to an extent). But your love for your child runs so deep that you want to make the sacrifice. You'll ask to make the sacrifice. That's what true love does. It eats all your brain cells. You find yourself running on full power with an empty brain and an overflowing heart. As always, Friday Night Lights says it best, "Clear eyes, full heart, can't loose".

Novs, you and I are gonna take state. Mark my words.

 

 

(images shot on film and digital, mixed!)

 

 

 

 

 

Mama's + Babies

We had a little baby party yesterday with some of the parents and babies that we did our birth prep classes with. It was so much fun!

Pictured: Willa, Nova and Pierce just hanging with their favorite ladies.

Sadly we are missing two of the mamas and two of the babies in this photo...Leif and Dempsey next time we need a photo with you.

We just love our birth center family and feel so grateful we have taken this journey with them.

(ps. we are watching Pierce's dad doing a jig for the babies..the things we do for smiles...)

6 Months

 (my apologies if the color and quality are off with these images...computer on the outs...new one on its way!..tip: looks better viewing on a desktop rather than a laptop) You are 6 months old.

Feels weird to say that.

It's been the longest and slowest 6 months of my entire life.

Big news!!!! You are crawling!!

..I guess you are still "army" crawling, dragging your belly along but you can get anywhere you want. If there is an iphone on the ground you will find a way to get it in your mouth.

You seem to be more deliberate about everything.

You remember if I take something away from you  and sometimes cry if you are mad about it!!

You have gone up another size in diapers. Size 2 thank you very much.

You officially weigh 14.7lbs. Still a small thing but growing.

I can't believe I did SO much cloth diaper research and here you are wearing disposables. I should have started with cloth the moment you were born.

You are close to sitting on your own but don't care about that very much. You would rather be on your belly inching along or jumping.

Speaking of jumping we bought you one of those excersaucers because you loved to stand so much. Every time you get in it you get the silliest grin on your face like you've tricked us into giving you what you want.

Your hand control is crazy good now.

You constantly pinch, pull and grab your dear ole' Mom.

My hair fascinates you. Especially my bangs.

You have been giggling when I swish my bangs in your face and sing, " check baby, check baby, one two..."

I think you might be into fashion. If I have a new article of clothing on, you notice. Makeup on, you notice.

If a towel is on my head it's almost more than you can handle. It might be the most intriguing thing you have ever seen.

When you wake up in the morning you just crawl all over us. This morning you pulled at my bangs and grabbed my checks until I sang you your morning song. "In the leafy treetops the birds sing good morning...".

You are still sporting the swaddle although we are trying to get you to nap with one arm out. You fight being wrapped but refuse to nod off to sleep without it. Sigh. Some babies fall asleep on a blanket mid play right? Tell me it isn't so!

You only want your binky as you are falling asleep. Never when you are awake. And once you are asleep out it pops.

Eating + biting. You know what I'm talking about and it's not funny.

You kind of thrash around when you sleep and are rubbing a lot of your hair off. Dad likes to constantly point out your bald strip in the back.

Your favorite things to play with: Anything that is not toys.

Anything we put near our mouths you want. Water bottles, cups, chapstick. Remotes, phones, computers, the fuzzy carpet we don't want you to eat, boxes, books...

I actually think your two main sources of food groups are; breastmilk and print. You love eating paper. You actually just love putting everything in your mouth and paper just happens to dissolve.

We have tried feeding you solids. Mostly you just make icky faces and act like we're gagging you. I can understand that reaction to the brown rice I made you but sweet potatoes? bananas? apples? Sorry to break it to you honey but food doesn't get much sweeter than that. Maybe we will just breastfeed until you are 18. YES!!!!

You do have a couple favorite "toy" toys, the dolly Aunt Amy gave you and the duckie Grandma Thurston gave you. Thank you!

Papa saw a license plate holder last week that said, " Only the best Dads are called Papa". That's why we call him big Papa!!!

You have outgrown your puj tub for the sink. Well..size wise you still fit but you were too active. And you figured out how to turn the water on and off. We are now giving you baths in the tub w one of us.

You always jump when we pull the shower curtain back. Always.

Bedtime still consists of the L-O-V-E song, jammies, recapping our day, swaddle and feed to sleep. You are almost always asleep by 7 and don't wake up to play until 6:30am.

That isn't to say you don't wake up.

I'm starting to think your nighttime wake-ups are a product of co-sleeping and not much else. I am there, you stir, decide you want a drink and 5-10mins later you are knocked out and we both fall asleep again. Is my sleep interupted, yes. Is yours? Not sure. Can I imagine you in another room at nights yet, no. Both of us think it seems more natural to have you with us and so we do.

I think for most intents and purposes you don't need a book to care for a baby. You just do what feels natural and usually that's the best thing for everyone involved. I know this doesn't always work but for the most part this is how we have gone about it and have been happy. Yes, I own tons of books on the subject but am learning instinct is my best tool.

You are starting to recognize your name...although we fear you think your name is "nutty". What if you grow up and people call you Nutty, or Nutzies or Do Do? Nutty Porter...I guess it works.

I think you are starting to finally gain some weight and you are wearing 3-6mos clothing. Although some of your long onesies are still 0-3.

You and I do this thing where either one of us will start making little cooing noises and the other one will intimidate the other. You definitely are on to the game. It's so fun..like we are singing a duet together.

You went to Hawaii this last month. You lucky baby.

You sucked on a strange lady's hand on a plane once (she said she had just washed and didn't mind).

Also a crazy french flight attendant begged to hold you so I let her and she proceeded to greet everyone entering the plane with you..Saying you were Delta's youngest flight attendant.

So many people in airports reach out for you like I am just going to hand you over. Umm, I don't think so! Every once in a blue moon...but is that normal? Hi I am a stranger and you have no idea if I am a nice person..please hand me your baby so I can breath on her and possibly kidnap her. Thanks but no thanks.

Lately I am getting worried that you are bored. I know I am crazy. It's me getting use to the simple interaction that a baby needs. We play on the floor, go for walks, read books, dip our toes in the pool, sing songs, bounce in your bouncer, practice sitting up, you get independent play time, attack each other like we are eating the other one for dinner, snuggle, kiss....and yet sometime I find myself asking your Papa when he leaves for work what we should do while he's gone. Unless he's home to help I can only really work when you are asleep which is on and off for about 3hrs a day. Otherwise I feel guilty doing anything but tend to you while you are awake. I live for you and care more about your and Papa's well being above anything else but the truth is..sometimes the days feel long. Being a Mom is full time.

I'm always a little sleep deprived. My sense of style has flown out the window. Doing my hair is the last thing I have time for. A stack of papers grows in the office. I catch you licking our cement floors and I don't always stop you. I am on my iphone too much. I should be productive when you go to sleep and instead I want to watch the John Adams HBO series with your dad.

I'm far from perfect..but my  love for you is.

Lately after you fall asleep on me eating, before bedtime..I will roll you into the crook of my arm and just look at you. I get really close so I can smell you and feel your breath and I am filled with shooting star exploding kind of love. My eyes get kind of misty and I try to decide if the size of your head is really as big as it seems to me. When did you grow so big? You are not my newborn anymore...but in the dim light of our bedroom with you in the crook of my arm and my eyes kind of squinted I can see the same face I saw February 18th 2011 at 10:27pm. I see those cheeks and those eyes. I see you. And then I try to decide if I should just stay awake all night staring at you because you might not fall asleep in my arms for very much longer. Surely staying up all night staring at you and wondering at the wonder you are would be a good idea?...It's a dilemma every night.

Shooting star exploding kind of love for my Nova. My Super Nova.

32,400 Minutes

(some of my favorite feeding photos since birth. Taken by Grant, myself and the 1st one by my sister Anna.)

3 hours a day

21 hours a week

90 hours a month

540 hours in 6 months

22 1/2 days of strait breastfeeding since birth.

I have almost spent an entire month since she has been born just feeding her.

If you've ever wondered why new moms talk about breastfeeding so much, the numbers above are why.

Everyone's experience with breastfeeding is different. For us, once we made it past the first 3 weeks we were golden. So convenient. So comforting. Keeps us close. We love it. It is a lot of work and time (see numbers above) so part of me is glad 6 months of feeding is behind us but a larger part of me is kind of sad that so many months have already past.

Transitioning into motherhood is not nearly as strange as some may imagine it to be. I had always hoped breastfeeding would feel normal and it has.

Bodies are just knocking my socks off this year.

And while I'm crunching numbers.. if breastfeeding is suppose to burn and extra 500 calories a day that's 11,000 calories that should be missing from my bod. Somehow the baby's home has managed to hang on for dear life. Sometimes when we are rolling around on the ground together and she comes upon her old home (ie: belly mush) she will start rooting around and sucking like it's another body part altogether. I can't decide if the joke is on her or me.

Today my little munchkin is 6months old. I have single single-handedly kept her alive with my body for 16 entire months. I think that deserves a huge prize!!..Maybe the prize is a baby that has survived for 16 entire months.

6month photos and thoughts coming soon. Just had to rely those numbers since today is a landmark day.

What are your thoughts on breastfeeding? Did it work for you and your babes?

Maui Babe

Our native Hawaiian princess

Papa gathering plumeria for his girls

Buttermilk banana pancakes with macadamian nuts and coconut syrup

Loco moco, fried rice and 2 eggs over medium (w/ hot sauce)

Road side grilled fish sandwich with pineapple!

Anything we put near our mouths you want in yours

Yes those are boy shorts, no we don't care

You thought you liked it....

..but then you didn't. I'm sure me smothering you with kisses totally helped.

Piggys on a sleeping babe

Thanks Harper for the swimsuit hand-me-down!!! We love it!

Your 1st Hawaii friend, Ella. Born 2 days after you.

If you haven't noticed, we kiss her A LOT.

Jr. IP (island princess).

The view from our hotel room

The view from the hotel bed..

Can you guess which one we liked better?

Maui was great and we always love spending time in the islands...but this trip there was only one sight we cared much about.

At Home

We haven't been at home much lately..so lounging lazy on our bed is few and far between.

The nutty takes her 7th plane ride since birth today.

Travel with a baby can be exhausting and we're all looking forward to spending some time at home after a long weekend of shooting.

I kind of wish I could spend 8hrs a day rolling around on this bed with her, don't you?

Auntie Anna

My sister came to stay with us for a month. She was majorly helpful. I think one of the hardest tasks of new parents is finding time to prep food, eat food and clean up the mess. She cooked for us, shopped for us and cleaned for us!! I was in heaven.

Nova is pretty much obsessed with her. They had dance parties and played together while we went out for the 1st time on a date. Every time Anna walked into the room she got huge gummy smiles.

We celebrated her last night here by having a surf and turf dinner and taking a walk to our nearby park.

I loved having her around because it felt like home. The days when I lived in the same house with all my sisters and brothers....seems so long ago.

We love you Ann-Banan! Miss you already!

5 Months

You turned 5 months old on the 18th.

This months photo shoot was not super fancy. Dad was at work, you gave me 5mins and wanted to MOVE the entire time.

You love to shake and bake.

You can't crawl yet but inch around on the floor.

I'm not sure how you do it but you can get to anything you want with a series of back arches, worm crawls and constant rolling.

Sitting on my legs use to be plenty of space but now I feel like you are expanding and our house is getting smaller.

You can sit on your own for a few seconds at a time.

Your hair looks so RED in these photos! How fun!!! PLEASE be a redhead.

This was the month of wanting to put everything in your mouth.

Grab, pull, put in mouth, slobber...in that order.

One word: teething.

Two words: no sleep

You were such a dreamy sleeper 0-3mos but then 4mos hit and we could finally relate to sleep deprived parents. So this month was a tiny bit more rough than others..but we still live for your happiness.

We felt a tooth that had squirmed it's way through your gums but then it disappeared!

At 4months you only weighed 11lbs. and at your 5mos appt 12.7lbs. You are on track developmentally so the consensus is You're petite. Who would have thought!?

Some said I should start solids but it didn't feel right so we didn't.

You giggle when we kiss your belly.

You smile non-stop. Except when you have to go to sleep.

At first when Gma T said you were "high-maintenance" it was hard to hear...because to me you were so easy..but the truth is you are high-maintenance but only when it comes to comfort. You rarely fall asleep in our arms. You ask to be swaddled and binkied before you slumber. And the white noise still reigns supreme. It's work..and makes it hard for us to be out and about during nap time but if it's what you still need then we will give it to you.

You did wean yourself from the swing this month. Yay!

Now time to ditch the swaddle & binky. Do we rip like a band-aid or gently pull?

You move around so much while you bathe, I don't think it will work to wash you in your puj tub for much longer.

We didn't take as many photos this month (photographer and Mom fail). I was just too tired.

Love that huge gummy smile!

Since I worked more this month you had more time with papa.

You started going on fun adventures in our yard with him. He lets you touch all the plants and you smile.

When I am away and he feeds you pumped bottles you now want to hold the bottle with both your hands.

Feet in your mouth! Feet in your mouth!

Changing your diapers is hard because I have to pry your toes out of your mouth in order to do it..and you are determined to keep them in.

You tell us when you are getting tired now by rub rub rubbing your eyes and getting chatty. The sound level of your chatter increases as you get more tired.

I love that you TELL us what you want. You know what you need and when you need it. We don't have to guess very often.

Your Aunt Anna came to stay for a whole month. It was awesome.

Your dad and I went on our 1st outing together and without you. Anna was your first babysitter. We saw Harry Potter and I checked my phone every 30secs.

I think you're starting to recognize your name.

You are starting to remember things...like what certain toys can do or games we play together. I love the look of anticipation that comes across your face.

Fun game we just started, "If I am your mama give me a kiss...if I am your mama give me a hug..."

You are 100% our Nutty. We are pretty sure this nickname will last. You are also my sweetsies, my precious, Nov's and the Do-Do's

Feeding is so much fun.

You have started to touch my face while you eat. I couldn't call it a stroke...more like a grab, scratch or pinch...but it melts me.

Sometimes you want your fingers in my mouth while you eat and I get to nibble on the tips of your fingers.

Sometimes you want your fingers in YOUR mouth at the same time you are eating. Hard to make that one work.

Spent a night away from you shooting a wedding in SF. It was hard.

Shot quite a bit this month so we spent more time away from each other. It was hard.

I had someone tell me in not so many words that "most" Moms don't have such hard time being away from their babies (like I needed help!). I was shocked, offended and then laughed it off. I am SOOOOOOO glad that I have the problem of wanting to be close to my child than the opposite. SO glad. I need breaks like everyone else and I take them but having you as close to me as possible feels the most natural. I need it and so do you. Maybe it has to do with us breastfeeding but whatever it is I love it and hope we always want to be close to each other. Always.

We still look at you with such wonder. How could anything be this beautiful...this perfect?

I thought I would miss all of your ages so much once they passed but I love who you are, in the moment, so much that I can't imagine you ever loving you more before or after....but it seems my love grows. Is that even possible?! When you were born I was completely 100% devoted and in love with you. I'm starting to think a parents love can't be quantified. I even think the word "love" doesn't do the description justice.

Until I discover a new word to describe the all consuming way I feel, just know, I love you my sweet daughter. More than anything.

Balance

(Some of my favorite stills from our shoot with Josh)

Balance seems to be #1 thing on our minds these days. Balancing time as a couple, as a mother, as a business owner & as an individual is no easy thing.

I often find myself feeling guilty for feeling like I am only able to 50% of what I would like to give in any given area. I'm sure sleep deprivation doesn't help...

Time to deep clean my life. I don't have time to give attention to things that don't matter long term. I need to outsource more, ask for help and not be afraid to LET GO of tasks that are taking me away from feeling my best.

What have you "let go" so you could prioritize the things that mattered most to you? Do tell.

Family in Motion

[vimeo 25584961 w=800 h=450] When our friend Joshua Brown was in town we did a little trade...I shot his family and he shot mine. I love trades! How amazing is this video? TREASURE. This was over 2 months ago!!! She was only 2 months then. It's like I blinked and she turned from a newborn into a baby.

If I have any advice for other human beings out there it's this: Record Your Life.

Take photos, even if just on your phone. Make movies of the everyday stuff. Write in a journal or blog. How priceless will this be for Nova someday? I would kill for this type of memory with me and my parents.

Josh, thanks for your skills and for keeping my 8wk post baby chins to a minimum.

Families are my favorite!!!

4 Months

This last month you have changed the most.

You have gone from newborn to baby.

One of the biggest changes has been sound...you are now babbling!!

Your mouth looks different when you make any sound now. You use your lower jaw and stretch your lips into new shapes.

Right before bed you seem to be the most talkative. Every time you make sounds I feel like I am getting a present. It is that exciting.

I had to shoot a wedding and spent a whole day away from you.

With me back to shooting we are trying to find our balance. It will take some time but everyday gets easier.

For 4months strait I have been able to feed you every meal. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had this luxury.

It did take 4mos for me to finally need a break. Your dad soothed you to sleep and I was OK not being the one to do it. I just layed on the couch.

Your hair is looking red! It could just be the darker hair getting lighter...but what if?! I still kind of think you'll end up blonde. So excited to see.

You see everything now. I often catch you staring at the reflection of the water moving in the pool off our ceiling. I am so impressed you found that.

Your hand dexterity is getting so good. you grab and hold and having even started feeling my face when I get close.

Your dad often asks me about the "language" I speak to you. "ohdo-scuseme" seems to be a common phrase around here. Don't ask.

Your are still nutty, nudders, nutsies, do-dos. I am calling you by your name more too.

Secretly we practice saying "mama" numerous times a day. Don't tell Dad.

You laughed!! And do almost every night getting ready for bed if I kiss your neck.

You are such a happy soul. You smile even through tears sometimes.

We are starting to wonder if we should start weaning you off certain things, like the swing and the binky. I'm scared.

I had to start counting your age by the date and not by the week anymore. You were 4 months on the 18th (even though you were 16weeks last week).

I haven't lost the baby weight. I thought the fat stores were suppose to transfer? Ohdo-scuseme!!!!??

If you are on your stomach you act like an inch worm. Anyday now you will be a free woman.

You are super into us when we are eating. Watching every bite go into our mouths....so one night I put a little sweet potato on my finger and let you taste. You liked.

We have mini conversations now. I ask, you answer.

You love to suck on two fingers.

We read you books and you look and listen the whole time.

If you spit up on me I just rub it in.

Mom and Dad use to watch movies at night all the time, then you came and now we are too tired.

Last night we watched about 20mins worth before you needed us. It was a great 20mins.

If we start singing you start to jabber along.

You still love to burrow and sleep with your face into stuff.

We started having you sleep in your bassinet right next to me (can still grab you from bed). You were moving a lot and covers were a worry.

We think you have started to teeth. Because of this you like to eat non stop. And the drool...oh the drool.

Lately at night you act like a little ravenous monster. You open your mouth REAL wide and dive and rummage around. On again, off again, on again off again. You have me on a tight leash.

You seem so much older now when we go out. You like to look around from your wrap and will stay awake substantially longer.

You have a much harder time sleeping in your wrap now.

If you are wearing grey, green or blue you look like a boy. I wonder if I do too?

You always smile when we kiss the bottoms of your feet or the tip of your nose.

Seems like you are gaining weight. Your carseat is getting heavier to hold.

You roll back to front and then front to back on both sides. If you put you on your back you always roll to your stomach now.

We never get to stare at your naked bum enough so we have started to initiate naked bum time.

You are long. Long fingers and long spread out toes. You sleep stretched out and stand stretched out. You like your legs long and strait.

You don't really get sarcasm yet. You are mainly into physical comedy.

I see your independence growing. You and I are learning to have space. I can go to the gym and you can sleep in the other room. You don't need me to help you get your arm out from underneath you when you roll and I don't have to face you for you to fall asleep anymore. It's good and hard. We need to be ourselves but you are such a huge part of my identity that having distance feels strange and uncomfortable.

You are much more interactive when you eat now. I love how you wrap your little hand around my finger and squeezes tight. It's like you're saying "thanks mom for spending so much time feeding me". And then you glance up at me and I say "you are welcome sweet baby".

A third of your first year is over.

It has been the best 4months of my entire life.

I love you so much...I think you can tell.

Stripes

This is my little bundle a few weeks ago.

She is starting to think she wants to crawl! I kid you not. Grant and I watch her try and try as she lays on her stomach. Knees slide up to her tummy and back down again. We give each other knowing glances...once she can move..stuff is going to be different around here.

(thinking of staring a tumblr site for her so I can post endless photos of the SUPER N without it clogging this one...thoughts? I just don't want to overload folks coming to look at my work...but she is my BEST work..Hmmmm...)

Three Months

I've said it once and I'll say it again...have I been in some sort of time warp?! Where has the last 3 months gone?

So much has changed for you this last month

First things first, you rolled over! Supposedly this is not typical until a month from now. And most babies roll from their stomachs to backs first but you rolled from your back to stomach at only 11 weeks! It happened during our tapas party and we were all kind of freaking out.

Great, now I have to watch you closer on beds and couches. Damn our cement floors.

You sleep like a champ always 8-9hrs every night. Always asleep by 9 at the latest.

You still sleep snuggled between us which I still love A LOT. But you do kick A LOT.

Turns out most baby clothes are short and fat. This poses an issue since you are long and thin.

You will smile at anyone. I haven't seen a person scare you yet.

At first I was jealous when you smiled at other people besides me and Dad. Truth.

We still have the luxury of giving you our full attention during all of your awake time.

Sometimes we play on your new mat which you think is pretty awesome. You spooned with Winston on it the other night. Turns out you're pretty boy crazy.

You stare at the lights and music on your mat and like to droll all over the bold patterns.

You take your best naps in the morning. And usually swing it out from 9:30 until about 1ish.

You found your hands and like to have them in your mouth at all times. Sometimes they don't taste good apparently because you make icky faces when they first make contact.

When you are really upset (which usually only happens when you have gas) your arms are stretched out horizontal and your shoulder raise to your chin. Confession: I have been known to wait a few seconds before soothing you because you look so adorable crying. That face.

Dad calls it "doing the wiggles" were we shift your hips around to try and help those darn gas bubbles.

You make little sounds but your aren't super talkative yet.

You still love faces best. And you will follow me around the room when others are holding you.

You make a little squinty face when I feed you and now move around a lot more, scratching with your hands or stretching your arm up over your head so I can't see you while you eat.

You also look at me sometimes while you eat. At first it seemed like you were surprised I was up there. "What are you doing here?" But then always a huge smile as though you are thinking..."Hey! I was just thinking about you!"

Standing is your favorite. Stand while you burp, play, chat, cry..stand stand stand. I had a dream that you started crawling and then walking as a 3mos old. It was wild.

You also do this semi-crunch and Gma helped determine that you did it most when you are hungry or wanted your binky--which we call "binksies."

Speaking of words, things we say to you or call you lately are: "nooks" "do do" "the babies"..and the staple "excuse me". I also made up a little jingle, "calling all the milk eaters, calling all the milk eaters, calling the leader of the milk eat-ers". I guess you have to be there.

Mom has started shooting more so you have been hanging with pops while I work. You two are so cute together.

I did wear you in the wrap for one shoot while you slept. It was like the good ole days when you and I would shoot together..expect you were under my skin, not above.

I'm getting set for long shooting days away from you and there is a stash of liquid gold (aka: breast milk) in the freezer. I probably wont stop feeling stressed about it until there is a years worth!

So far I have given you EVERY feeding except like 4..when dad has bottle fed you just to make sure you will take a bottle.

We added it up and in the first 2months of your life the time spent feeding was 8 strait 24hr days. Um, ya. That's why I talk about feeding time so much.

I started putting felt bows and flowers in your hair with kero syrup...but the first time I did it, it was so secure you basically had a flower stuck to your head with sugar for 2 days strait.

Your dad blessed you in church this month and lots of visitors were here for the event.  Gma and Gpa Thurston stayed for 4 days! It was great. They got a lot of time with you.

Sometimes when I have the TV on I will catch you looking at the screen. Uh oh. TV is not for little babies.

I get anxious sometimes that I don't have enough clothes or toys for you. Or that you are too skinny and should be plumper by now. I get nervous if your eyes look red or there is a scratch on your skin. Every time I take you outside I wonder what in the air is touching you.

Truth be told you have never seemed like other newborns. You seem so much wiser to me. You are smart and aware and know how to communicate. I honestly feel like we are best friends.

We can talk or not talk and still find things not to talk about (it seems like I am doing most of the talking).

I do this thing were I pretend that I am going to eat you and then gnaw on your neck. You love it. Just the other day you started doing it back! You open you mouth super wide and come after me with the fury that only a breast fed baby can have...and then you smile and giggle. Interactive play time!! YES.

You have these eyes that look at everything with wonder and surprise. You have no negative judgment of others. Nothing is stupid or dumb. You have perfect love and acceptance. I have so much to learn from you.

xxoo-

Mom