4 Months

This last month you have changed the most.

You have gone from newborn to baby.

One of the biggest changes has been sound...you are now babbling!!

Your mouth looks different when you make any sound now. You use your lower jaw and stretch your lips into new shapes.

Right before bed you seem to be the most talkative. Every time you make sounds I feel like I am getting a present. It is that exciting.

I had to shoot a wedding and spent a whole day away from you.

With me back to shooting we are trying to find our balance. It will take some time but everyday gets easier.

For 4months strait I have been able to feed you every meal. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had this luxury.

It did take 4mos for me to finally need a break. Your dad soothed you to sleep and I was OK not being the one to do it. I just layed on the couch.

Your hair is looking red! It could just be the darker hair getting lighter...but what if?! I still kind of think you'll end up blonde. So excited to see.

You see everything now. I often catch you staring at the reflection of the water moving in the pool off our ceiling. I am so impressed you found that.

Your hand dexterity is getting so good. you grab and hold and having even started feeling my face when I get close.

Your dad often asks me about the "language" I speak to you. "ohdo-scuseme" seems to be a common phrase around here. Don't ask.

Your are still nutty, nudders, nutsies, do-dos. I am calling you by your name more too.

Secretly we practice saying "mama" numerous times a day. Don't tell Dad.

You laughed!! And do almost every night getting ready for bed if I kiss your neck.

You are such a happy soul. You smile even through tears sometimes.

We are starting to wonder if we should start weaning you off certain things, like the swing and the binky. I'm scared.

I had to start counting your age by the date and not by the week anymore. You were 4 months on the 18th (even though you were 16weeks last week).

I haven't lost the baby weight. I thought the fat stores were suppose to transfer? Ohdo-scuseme!!!!??

If you are on your stomach you act like an inch worm. Anyday now you will be a free woman.

You are super into us when we are eating. Watching every bite go into our mouths....so one night I put a little sweet potato on my finger and let you taste. You liked.

We have mini conversations now. I ask, you answer.

You love to suck on two fingers.

We read you books and you look and listen the whole time.

If you spit up on me I just rub it in.

Mom and Dad use to watch movies at night all the time, then you came and now we are too tired.

Last night we watched about 20mins worth before you needed us. It was a great 20mins.

If we start singing you start to jabber along.

You still love to burrow and sleep with your face into stuff.

We started having you sleep in your bassinet right next to me (can still grab you from bed). You were moving a lot and covers were a worry.

We think you have started to teeth. Because of this you like to eat non stop. And the drool...oh the drool.

Lately at night you act like a little ravenous monster. You open your mouth REAL wide and dive and rummage around. On again, off again, on again off again. You have me on a tight leash.

You seem so much older now when we go out. You like to look around from your wrap and will stay awake substantially longer.

You have a much harder time sleeping in your wrap now.

If you are wearing grey, green or blue you look like a boy. I wonder if I do too?

You always smile when we kiss the bottoms of your feet or the tip of your nose.

Seems like you are gaining weight. Your carseat is getting heavier to hold.

You roll back to front and then front to back on both sides. If you put you on your back you always roll to your stomach now.

We never get to stare at your naked bum enough so we have started to initiate naked bum time.

You are long. Long fingers and long spread out toes. You sleep stretched out and stand stretched out. You like your legs long and strait.

You don't really get sarcasm yet. You are mainly into physical comedy.

I see your independence growing. You and I are learning to have space. I can go to the gym and you can sleep in the other room. You don't need me to help you get your arm out from underneath you when you roll and I don't have to face you for you to fall asleep anymore. It's good and hard. We need to be ourselves but you are such a huge part of my identity that having distance feels strange and uncomfortable.

You are much more interactive when you eat now. I love how you wrap your little hand around my finger and squeezes tight. It's like you're saying "thanks mom for spending so much time feeding me". And then you glance up at me and I say "you are welcome sweet baby".

A third of your first year is over.

It has been the best 4months of my entire life.

I love you so much...I think you can tell.