The big kids are out of the house with dad and I just fed you to sleep. White noise is on while you lay in your crib making sporadic grunt noises and you fall into deeper sleep.
Outside is the island of Kauai, although it hasn’t mattered much to us so far. We have preferred to be nestled together in our home (bed really) for the last four weeks. We could be living on mars for all we care. Sleep, eat, cuddle, care has been our jam and we don’t take lightly the quiet times we have had together.
I feel like it has taken about a month for me to come out of the disbelief that you are here. The initial shock of labor and the end of pregnancy coupled with a bright eyed, aware, wise baby in my arms left me in a state of bewilderment for the first few weeks. Now that my mind and hormones have settled a bit, the beauty of you being here is becoming easier to believe.
I am excited to write your birth story down and relive every life changing moment leading up to you finally being here.
We waited a bit impatiently for you near the end. I just wanted you with us.
Here you are.
Our sweet Duke baby.
I am so happy you are still sleepy and will rest contently on my chest or in my arms. I know it won’t last forever.
You came out the perfect size and, like all my babies, have gained weight like a champ.
I love seeing your double chin increase in size and your belly grow rounder. Every day it seems as if you grow older. I guess that's what happens with days continue to come and go.
The truth is, it’s not as easy to give undivided attention as it was with baby #1….so I go to great effort to concentrate on just YOU whenever I have a chance.
You lay on your back in between my legs and we talk and smile together.
I sing your lullaby to you as we bounce on the yoga ball or swing in my arms.
I tell you I love you every day, multiple times a day...because it’s the truth.
Your sister and brother have been over the moon about your arrival from the first seconds you were here. There was no transition time for them to accept you. They knew you and you seamlessly joined their rhythm as if you had always been.
Nova loves to help with diaper changes by warming up the wipes for you in her hands.
Both kids ask to hold you all day and when they do the happy expressions on their faces are so satisfying for me to see.
Both kids will say, “We support you”. Whenever you cry and they love to try and figure out what you need when you tell us you need something.
Some favorite phrases from Nova to you: “Just chilling out?” “Oh! Feeling a little cranky?” “You are my best friend. I love you so much”.
Fairbanks loves to ask you “how you feeling?” “How did you sleep” “Baby Duke happy!”
Although there has been the normal heightened emotion of a new family member being around, neither of the kids have shown anything but sweetness and tenderness towards you. Always soft with you..gently touching your head, kissing your lips or holding your hand. They always talk to you with kind gentle tones. They save all the rougher stuff for mom and dad :)
You have been my easiest baby to breastfeed so far. Very little discomfort in the beginning and you were a pro at latching from day one.
We still have to do the ole’ lay back and lots of burping from the TKO but your little digestive system is figuring it out.
I love how being with me immediately calms you.
Your cry changes and your body immediately relaxes when you are in my arms...making me feel like super woman.
Being your mom really does make me feel so loved.
My favorite moments are when we are looking at each other and our eyes are locked until you drift off to sleep.
Reminds of me of something I read once about until a baby is 1yr old they don’t really know they are a different person than their mother. That one bit of information has made mothering newborns make so much sense.
We are so linked to each other just as we should be.
Your little nose is super sensitive to the air and can get really swollen making it hard to breath. I feel like I stay awake all night if I can hear your breathing.
Also not super into the car seat so I sit in a contorted position so you can suck on my finger (since you don’t like the pacifier).
even though you were over 8 lbs you still fit in the smallest newborn stuff we had and you wore those itty newborn diapers. You have since graduated to size 1.
Being a Hawaii baby means it is sometimes WAY too hot for clothes, we chill in our diaper.
Sometimes when you are wrapped on me, sweating together is unavoidable.
We took you to the the Hyatt pool to swim with cousins a couple weeks ago and like a rookie mom, you got a tiny bit sunburned. I was mortified. I had had you wrapped in a swaddle, tried to have you under shade, but your sensitive, perfect skin still felt it. I texted your midwife in a panic and she reassured me that it was hard to avoid as an island mom. It was my official initiation as a Kauai mom.
Speaking of being a Kauai mom, is has been so hard not to get in the water for the last month. It has been the hardest part about postpartum. No ocean or pools until my body is ready. Boo.
So many sweet aunties have brought over food the first couple weeks you were born. It always makes me feel so emotional to have that extra help.
Family was in town for the Thurston family reunion the last couple of weeks. Loved having them be able to meet you while you are so little but it was exhausting for you and me to be out and about so much. You were so flexible and we made it work….but it was nice once it was all over and we could recoup at home for a few days. You did attend your first luau, first stay at a hotel, first late night out.
It seems like having done these monthly recaps for three kids now, that I might not have a lot to say. The truth is I could go on and on and have to actually stop myself from writing.
Every time it is new and exciting. You are our third and you being with us is unique and special and just as awe inspiring as when your siblings joined us.
Best news this week: You have started legit smiling.
For some reason that genuine smile while you look up to my eyes feels like such a reward after the work that the first few weeks take. That sweet smile bonds me closer to you and reminds me to look for the small and simple moments to re energize.
Your lusty newborn cry
The way you root around with eyes closed and frantic head back and forths
Your stretch after a long sleep
Your sweaty, lint filled, clenched newborn hands
The way you go into vampire mode when sunlight hits your face
Cry, fuss, squirm...mom holds you...calm.
Really really in to you baby Duke. This month has been one of my happiest.
xxoo-Mom