I just laid you down in your crib and before I did you let me sing you your lullaby in my arms..AND for the first time ever sang along! “I love you, I love you. I sing it to the sky. I love you, I love you as you look into my eyes…”. You knew the words. You’ve been listening.
It’s be over a month since you’ve turned two and honestly, word explosion! You chatter all day long.
Any word we say you repeat.
I feel like everything you do at this stage needs to be videotaped. The sound of your voice, your facial expressions, the way such smart, wise actions and words come out of such a small pot bellied body.
With the arrival of your baby brother in less than 2 months, I have been noticing all your little details even more.
Not like I didn’t before but I know it won’t be long until you aren’t the baby in the family. I have seen it happen before and the second that baby is born you turn into a kid.
I notice you looking for me if you ever need comfort (right after you grab your blanket and shark)
I notice the way you lay on my shoulder when I carry you and bury your face into my neck.
I notice when you ask for bear hugs or butterfly kisses when no one else is listening.
I notice how baby your hands and feet still look to me even though they can do so much.
I notice every detail of you and cherish this time of you being my youngest.
It’s amazing that as you have developed your vocabulary, you are able to express yourself emotionally now.
One of your most used phrases over the last couple of weeks have been, “I feel nervous about…..”. It started after an instacare visit on Oahu after you split the skin next to your eye. You were so brave and let me hold you and held SO still for the doctor as he put on your steri bandage..and then once we were home a day or so later while eating dinner you said, “I feel nervous about the doctors office”. I was so happy you knew the words to use to express to me how you were feeling. It was amazing to be able to acknowledge your feelings, validate you and see how much more you needed to process what had happened. We talked about it for days. “I help the doctor put on my bandaid”. “My eye owie”. It felt like an emotional breakthrough, although it wasn’t. I know even little babies can process how they feel but expressing it through words so I can participate is a game changer.
“I feel nervous about the ocean” when big waves are coming.
And the other night out of the blue, “I feel nervous about the new baby coming”. Of course he does! So do I, if I am being honest.
Thank you Bubs for letting me know the tricky emotions you feel.
We also decided to go to the zoo last minute while we were on Oahu and you have talked none stop about, “I saw the monkeys eating bananas at the zoo”. “I saw the monkeys swinging at the zoo”.
You have even been talking about the “Kumoto Dragon” we saw, that I was sure you weren’t even paying attention to.
You said your name for the first time while jumping on the bed in a diaper with a yellow superhero cape on as you yelled, “ Super Fai-ganks!!”. Your dad and I both heard and just turned wide eyed to each other. It was a rad moment.
You still sleep in your travel crib which I feel slightly guilty about except for that you nap everyday and sleep all night long.
You have started wanting to get into bed by yourself. You have been able to climb in and out for 6+ months now but just recently want to go to bed yourself. “Give me space mom”, you say as you start to close the door on me and my heart breaks a little.
I will pretend to give you space, but won’t ever..really. Just so you know upfront. J/K (kind of).
So, being the superheros we are, you breastfed until you were 2yrs old.
It was just in the mornings at the end and I actually put an end to it because it was time for me. Unless we were going to tandem BF once brother is here I wanted to give us both time to get use to not doing it before he takes over.
Oy oy oy. I have been pregnant or breastfeeding straight for the past 5+ years. Hormone cocktail anyone?
Truth is I love BFing and not because I am mother earth but because it is so dang convenient. And lets me be a tiny bit lazy. Always ready, no fuss, no prep.
I loved our snuggle time together. That changes a tiny bit once BFing stops. You still have to sit in the crook of my arm when I am reading you a book, but no more drawn out mornings in bed together. That is the magic of breastfeeding.
But you are growing up and I guess so am I.
You love to put the laundry into the washer for me.
You ride your scooter so amazingly well. It’s terrifying actually.
You love cars and trucks and motorcycles and will sit at the family room window and watch with delight.
You also love putting on one of sister dresses or costumes and twirling around. Who doesn’t!!?
You actually went through a dress stage recently when you demanded to always wear a dress and would change if you caught eye of one that was fancier or you wanted to wear more.
Can’t blame you when you have lived with a sister your whole life who will ONLY wear dresses.
You also love shoes. Trying them on, walking around in them, talking about them, looking for them. Maybe because it’s such a novelty here on the islands. But it’s pretty adorable none the less.
You are a pretty good eater but your mainstays right now seem to be anything with eggs, oatmeal and eating a whole apple. You also cry for chocolate on occasion.
Sometimes you act like you aren’t hungry but once I sit down and start eating you climb into my lap and proceed to eat all of my food. I have to race to get even one bite of granola and yogurt.
You have started to self potty train (just like your sister did). If you ask we take you. “I do it myself”, as you climb on, do bidness, get toilet paper, wipe, climb off, flush and wave bye bye. Big kids stuff if you ask me.
You love playing tickle games, chase and telling us to “go to sleep” and then while we pretend to sleep you yell to wake us up. You could play this forever. and ever and ever.
You are super into me. I can say that without being vain since I gave birth to you.
If I am talking to dad and sister and you want my undivided attention you will tell me, “no more talking to daddy mom. No more talking to sister.” Which you have been saying numerous times a day. Trust me I am a super good listener with my kids and you will say this even when you aren’t talking to me. You just like it better if I save the air time for you.
Lately you are sick of going to the beach (unbelievable) but beg to go on hikes, to the pool or “to town”...which on this island is code for Costco. I love when you ask to go to town. Like you know you live in the small town you do.
You have also started to boss us around when we drive, “Go that way”, always pointing towards Hanalei. Smart boy.
Generally I don’t really want anything to do with this growing up stuff but you are doing it with such grace and sensitivity and smarts that I’ve thrown my hands up. Go for it I guess.
Today at the park and farmers market you said, “How are you” to a little boy who didn’t even know how to answer. You said, “Good morning” to some passerbys. And you said, “Mahalo after leaving each stand we bought food at. How can I not be proud?? Your manners are outstanding.
You thank all of us constantly for getting you stuff, feeding you, helping you.
You have always been super thoughtful and sensitive to others.
I feel like you are especially in tune with me. And I with you.
It’s just this thing between a babe and his mom. We get each other.
When you say yes or yah to anything is sounds like, “wa”. Please please never stop saying it this way.
You are so so happy and your smile is so shiny. Your eyes squint up and light pours out of your face. It makes me kiss you over and over again. I am so in love with you and the presence you are in our home.
Happy two years my Bubby boy. My life is 100% better with you in it.
Love, Mom