4 Months

As I type this you are blissfully sleeping in your swing.

I fed you to sleep and once you were really out..watched you sleep on me. Not wanting to move you, not wanting to wake you...not wanting to ever move from that spot with you.

We shopped at Costco tonight and I wore you in the beco. You gazed at me the entire time with eyes that wonder at the magnificent creature I am. When you are 16yrs old and reading this, it’s true. You once had eyes for only me.

You giggle and coo constantly. Even amidst tears if I look at you the right way or speak to you sing songy you will give me a husky little giggle and a big slobbery, gummy grin.

I love that your eyes turn into slits when you smile.

When you smile every part of you reaches outward. Your eyes, mouth, arms..like you are trying to share your happiness with everyone. It works.

I watch you with so much admiration.

You are learning so much!

You are getting so good at grasping onto things with your hands. Toys and my hair are your number one favorite things to grab.

You also like to clutch my shirt while you feed. Kind of like you are saying, “ You’re not going anywhere lady”.

I’m not.


I made up a little song for you one evening while we were spending time together before your bedtime. I can’t remember the tune but the words were, “I love you so much. I just wanted you to know. I never will leave you. I’ll go wherever you go. I love you more than one. I love you more than two. You can count forever and it would still be too few.”

Cheesy. But I am. All ooey gooey over you.

You roll all over the place and I swear you are almost sitting up.

Today you were draped over me on your stomach and pulled yourself up to your knees.

Super baby.

You are freakishly strong for a 4 month old.

You balance on Dads hands like it ain’t no thing and when we walk with you while holding your arms you move your little feet like you are trying to walk. It’s crazy.

You are a really amazing sleeper.

You are creating your own schedule and I am starting to get the hang of it.

Usually you take a nap about an hour after you wake up and then a long afternoon nap the same time your sister naps (love you for that). Then a little dinner time snooze and bedtime happens around 7:30.

At nights you sleep your first stretch for about 5hrs strait and then we sleep/eat for the rest of the night.

I can’t begin to describe how much I love snuggling with you at nights.

I am finding that you don’t need to eat as much at nights but in my sleeping stupor if you wake up I try to latch you on but if you aren’t hungry you aren’t hungry. You want to just fall asleep without eating? Whose child are you?

You also sometimes prefer to lull yourself to sleep ON YOUR OWN. Nova needed a lot of loving care to fall asleep but I think with your heftier size you sleep a little more soundly. But the truth is I am sometimes sad when you don’t need to be rocked to sleep. I love helping my babies be comfortable. It’s my job.

I still wear you in the moby on occasion but you are loving the beco carrier right now.

We haven’t had a double stroller yet but on occasion we have taken rides with you strapped into the BOB and your sister rides on the front step. You are excited so you kick your little legs into sister’s back. She calls back to you “Be nice. Don’t kick me baby brother”. We have to explain to her that you are just excited to be riding with her. Love kicks we like to call them.

When you are a little fragile and sad..maybe you just woke up Nova likes to growl in your face. I try to lovingly explain that you might not be in the mood for growling but before I can put an end to it, your sad little face looks at me llike “mom is this really happening”? Yes, buddy it is.

Nova will sometimes point out, “look mom, I’m holding his hand because I love him. He’s my best friend”.

Today at lunch she said, “He has two names, Fairbanks and baby brother”.

You love watching your wild older sister run circles around all of us.

We busted out the jumper/play seat that you seem to like for 10mins at a time.


Poor baby. I don’t remember Nova teething this early.

You have good teething days and bad ones...but the one thing we can always count on is DROOL.

You are a drool monster. I bought little cotton bibs from Ikea when Nova was born but she never used them. You go through at least 2 a day.

Your hair is going light. Your dark newborn hair is at the bottom and blond little hairs are growing in.

I find myself calling you bubba a lot. Baby brother, noodle, doo doo and “my sweet baby”.

You still have lots of rolls and I hope they stay around for as long as possible.

This last month I have found myself thinking a lot about “good” babies. People always ask, “Is he a good baby”? I think what they mean is, “Is he an easy baby”....but it bothers me a little. ALL babies are good. They are good by nature. Even if a kid makes a mistake or a bad decision I believe they are still “good”. If one of my babies cries strait for a year, that wouldn’t make them bad. Just sad, or sick or uncomfortable.

You don’t cry, hardly ever. But just so people know I will always say my kids are good, because they are.

Fairbanks, you are my little love. I couldn’t be happier to call you mine.