One Week

Nova's first week has come and gone. Here are some impressions I wrote down for her:

In about an hr and a half, it will be a week from the moment you arrived. The moment you were born and I was re-born. You haven't been much for crying, even from the start. You cry when I don't feed you fast enough and that's pretty much it. You have the most beautiful face. Round and full. Your cheeks give me a chub attack and your lips are pouty and full. We didn't wash you for the first 5days. We just didn't want to wash all of the newborn off of you. I wasn't sure you would fit into your tiny newborn clothes but you did and do! Everything else drowns you. You love the bamboo blankets I bought you. My favorite thing this week is when after you have eaten you pull off and place your chubby cheek on top of my boob and are content to stay there all night. Sometimes when you do this you give milk coma smiles. I feel so proud that I helped contribute to that contentment. I also love your hot flushed face after you have eaten. You are exhausted and a little milk outlines your perfect pouty lips. I thought the days would go by slow..but they don't! I stare at you and before I know it another day has passed. The first time I showered, a day or so after your birth, I cried the entire shower. Your dad was in there helping me because I was still so weak. Part of the reason I was crying was because you were in another room from me. I never want to be away from you. The midwives said you have a "lusty" cry. I have to agree. You also have cleavage....What are we in for? Your hands in your sleeper mitts are the cutest little balls of fabric. You smell so good. I could sniff your hair, lips, cheeks and toes for hours and hours. My hand is about the size of your back and I like to leave it there so I can feel and see your chest rise and fall. Everyday I am sad you are one day older. The aging thing is going to be hard for me. I would rather have you sleep on, next too or in arms reach of me. I have woken up a few times panicked because you are not right on top of me. We like to always be touching each other. When you have been asleep for a few hrs and you wake up to feed, I'm always surprised at how much I missed you. Waking up in the middle of the night for you is not hard because I just love being with you and looking at you so much. You have spent the majority of this week naked with just your diaper on. Skin to skin keeps us both warm and helps us bond. You went for your first walk and your daddy carried you in the front carrier and you loved it. I worked with you at my computer with you on my lap. It seemed so normal. You were born with a hand next to the side of your head and still have those arms and hands always curled up next to you head. Speaking of arms...I counted 8 rolls on one of your arms this week. 8! You like to be soothed in an over the shoulder position or up against a chest. The first time I sang you your song after you were born, you stared at me and stopped moving. You recognized it. Your dad loves you a lot. He has been feeding me, answering the door and just taking care of business so you and I can rest and be together. He sacrifices for us. I loved you the entire time I was pregnant with you, but after you were born I loved you even more. All I care about is your comfort and well being. For your first outing to the pediatrician’s office we dressed you in a white onesie and gray polka dot leg warmers. You looked like you were about to do jazzercise. I'm having a hard time finding a balance between Mom and Photographer. I want to take photos of you constantly but I also want to hold you and stare at you constantly. It's the lot I will have to bear. It's raining tonight just like on the day you were born. I remember sitting in the tub in our bedroom and reaching out to touch the window during a contraction to see if the window felt cool. It did. It's almost 9:30. This was a break through time for me the night you were born. An hr later you were here and I couldn't stop smiling. I am still in shock that you came and that I live in a house with a baby. I am your Mom and know I am...but it all feels so normal that I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the huge change. I am excited to write out your whole birth story. I think I am ready. You are hungry so I better wrap this up. I never want you to change or grow or get older. I want you to be little forever......but then what about all the other stages? Everyone is obsessed with you. I am obsessed with you most. I grew you!!!!!! I miss you inside of me but am so happy you are here, healthy and all mine. We are an amazing team. The three of us.

Love, Mom