g and I saw this a couple of nights ago. I liked it, I did...but for some reason it also made me feel a little teary. this could be for many reasons one being I am a girl and like to get teary around the same time every month. I talked it out with g after the movie and this a short list of things that watching brought out in me:

  • a deep desire for my nyc
  • furthered my itch to live in europe
  • made me really want to go to culinary school (the french culinary school in ny to be exact)
  • am I living up to my full potential?
  • I make a lot of mistakes
  • nervous that if I wait too long I might never be able to bear children.
  • I would love a WAY nicer kitchen (I think about this daily).
  • do I feed other people enough?
  • what's my storybook ending?
  • am I ok accepting and recognizing my own success without the validation of others?
  • I want to write/compile a book.
  • I'm pretty sure one of my best skills is eating. I am growing in front of your very eyes!
  • there is something about the act of "creating". nothing is more satisfying. whether it be the act of seeing , composing, capturing with my camera or growing, stirring and eating. magic!!!! complete magic. I think if I had a nice garden I could eat out of, meal time would make me cry with happiness. thank you earth. thank you sunshine. thank you for the ability to see and create.

after this post movie rant, g wrapped his arm around me and told me he loved me. then we walked arm in arm back to the little blue house. despite all my never ending questions and earnings for more, I have something I never have to question...and every time his arm wraps around me and he looks at me with those eyes that say, "you're crazy, and I love that crazy", I am reminded.

with g my questions feel safe. how awesome is that?!

the end.