jon & kate

I just feel sick about this whole thing.

sure I watched the show last night, and not because I wanted to feed off their misery, but because I honestly fell in love with their family after 2+yrs of watching their show. It's not the divorce that upsets me...although ending a marriage is completely's the fact that it's being televised! that they are explaining themselves to me through my television. messed up.

I have no idea what is really going on with them, NO ONE I have no idea what is best for them. but I do think it's sick and twisted to get ratings and make money from it. if they really wanted what was best for the kids I think they show should have ended at the first sign of undue stress on the family. kate says it wasn't the show that led to the demise....but i'm not so sure.

so sad. I just wish promises and commitments would always stay. why are firm, "unchanging" words said if they are going to change? I guess this whole thing brings up feelings from past heartache for me. sometimes because of my past I get nervous about the future. people have their free agency, and when you get married you put a lot of trust and faith in the other person...hopeful that they will use their free agency for the betterment of the relationship. this doesn't always happen, and I guess that just makes me sad. sometimes marriages should end, BUT only after very very hard work to save them. I guess I just wish people worked harder. nothing is worse than losing someone you love. nothing.

my heart goes out to the gosselins.